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Still, despite the child's bizarre behavior, the boy's mother, Diana, was definitely worth a follow-up.A few days later, I drove over to the Waterfront Inn where she had encamped with her children for a brief summer vacation.I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.These words are usually said to rationalize something you know is wrong.Rationalize is also spelled “rational lies.” I’ve heard so many people tell me that this was the one that pushed them over the edge.The swim was bad enough, with both children glowering at the grownups from their pool chairs. No sooner had the waiter taken our order than the girl seized one of the action figures from her brother's fist and threw it across the restaurant.The boy screamed in outrage, hit his sister with the other action figure, then ran over to get the first one so he could hit her with that, too. For starters, you have to learn how to distinguish relationship red flags from mere quirks and annoyances.

Some of them are indicators that the relationship may become abusive. Not long ago, I met a very attractive single mother of two at a dinner party. It was the way he slammed the action figures into each other, his upper lip curled in a sneer, that gave me pause.We were seated next to each other and by dessert, we were punctuating our stories with little touches: her hand on my forearm, mine on hers. Then the first of her two children, a boy of about ten, descended from an upstairs TV room. That and the adoring look his mother chose to bestow on him as he did.Being a divorced person for six years, I think I can paint a pretty accurate picture of some of the typical traits I see in divorced men. Of course, I realize every man is unique, but these are just some features that I notice a lot. And they don't want to feel obligated to do anything! Neither the boy nor his sister, two years older, looked over from the droning television. Diana told them to turn off the television and change into their swimsuits. So Diana pretended she hadn't asked them and went into the bedroom to change.